I need to put my lil bb to rest officially. I haven’t used my Chanel Coco Rouge gloss in a really long time because well... I got it in the beginning of 2017. But I’ve been carrying it with me wherever I go since (at least three continents). It's a straight-up miracle I haven't lost it. I won't be replacing it because it's a souvenir from a very particular time in my life, and a new one won't be the same.
I am a person who likes "things". I like having tchotchkes. And I usually don't buy anything unless I really love it. (Buying beauty is an exception). I form emotional connections with many of my things and I hang onto them until they no longer spark joy. But somethings have hung around as I've let others go. Things I have kept long after their expiration date include my very first pair of "designer" shoes, 7 for All Mankind jeans, and Juicy Couture hoodie. Actually, now that I see that written out, I have a weird attachment to icons of the mid 2000s... Actually... now that I really think about it, my most worn pair of shoes in 2020 thus far are Uggs I got in 2006 and brought out of from the basement... (Perhaps this is something we will need to revisit - did I reach my peak in middle school?!)
It was March of 2017. I was in the midst of my semester abroad in Milan, Italy. It had always been a dream of mine to go skiing in the Alps. So I gathered up a car load of friends and hwent to see the majestic Mont Blanc. It was so beautiful.
I returned back to Milan with the most sunburnt lips of all time. Back at home I would have just slathered on some Vaseline. The previous week I had been window shopping inside the fanciest department store in town because when I was a homesick and went to distract myself in the fantasy of beautiful things I can't afford.
I was beckoned by the charming ladies at the Chanel counter to try on the newly launched Chanel Coco Rouge gloss. I must have been really craving human interactions, so I sat in the black stool and let the lady try all the different colours on me.
As my lips were on fire, I just wanted something that would be thick, soothing, and moisturizing, ASAP. I made a beeline back to the counter and paid €28 for the fanciest (read: most expensive) lip product I had ever purchased at that time. Considering my ideal alternative would have been a tub of petroleum jelly it felt like an extra indulgent purchase.
Over the years (I shamefully admit that that is way too long to use a lip gloss) it has made me feel fancy every time I brought it out. It was a luxury item I didn't have to baby; I didn't have to worry about it scuffing or getting caught in the rain. But it has also served as a physical reminder of a time where I did something all on my own. To me that lipgloss is my souvenir from my grad school experience more so than my actual degree. I packed up and left home to live in a foreign country where I literally knew no one, not once, but three times. Sure, I did some school stuff in there, but I think the biggest lesson of all was proving to myself that I can venture out into the unknown all by myself, figure out my way, and live to tell the tale.
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